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i am 48 years of age... in rt i am married with 2 daughters ages 15 and 17 (deliver me!), educated without being overly so (i.e. i have a BA in Psych... but am fairly well read)... fun-loving... and rather strong-willed, and *sigh* anti-authoritarian. But i am sexually submissive... have always since childhood been interested in bondage, pain and interesting "devices"... My husband has spanked me all my married life... but i never understood about D/s until i discovered Bianca's about 2 years ago. We are now beginning to explore more bondage and other forms of pain together in rt.

VT i am a better submissive than in rt... (rt spankings HURT! it's hard not to struggle; oddly... RT floggings don't hurt at all... mmmmm more like a massage, YUM)... i love to be fully restrained... the more complete the restraint the easier it is for me to surrender to the pain... i am very fond of both anal and vaginal sex... having my cunt spanked... and labia clamps...

i must admit to being very bored with vt oral sex (receiving) and although i am of course quite willing to lick and suck cock, my most difficult LIMIT is that i cannot take a cock all the way to the back of my throat, due in part to a strong gag reflex, and partly to my TMJ... although these are rt considerations, i like vt to reflect my rt as much as possible (or what's the point?) and having my mouth forced and fucked or cum into is a sure way to end my enjoyment of a session

Another limit is my left knee... having fallen a few times on it, the knee cap will not support my weight without a good deal of pain... so that kneeling, except of short duration and on a pillow is to be avoided.

i am strictly heterosexual. period. i would not wish a scene with a Domme or with the assistance of a femsub.

My other "limits" are fairly standard... no permanent damage, piercings, probably no animals... but heck, i'll try anything once (at least in vt)! i am not averse to "bathroom activities" when i am with my own Master, but i think it would be a bit much with a Stranger.

my safeword is "Frost"... but i rarely feel the need to stop a scene due to discomfort. I once halted a scene due to skin-ripping and blood, and recently because the Dominant was confusing me with some mixed signals. Because I take my submission VERY seriously, once I am bound I don't have much sense of humor.

There is a difference between "sexual" and "sensual". To me a beautiful D/s BDSM scene is sensual in nature... there is control by the Master... surrender by the sub... and pain... mmmmmm delicious pain... To my mind it weakens the scene for the Master to take His sexual pleasure... that is best left for afterwards... A Dominant's power is in CONTROL... and when S/He orgasms there is a loss of control... This doesn't mean, btw, that i don't CRAVE the Master's cock inside me... that craving is part of the submission...

When a Dom/me and sub truly understand each O/other, there is nothing more beautiful than the mutual gifts of pain and pleasure. It is such a joy for a sub to know that the pain she receives is entertaining and exciting to the One who gives it.

The Dom/me pushes the sub deeper and deeper towards complete loss of self... when the breakthrough to subspace occurs, the Dom/me can choose to deepen the experience or to allow the sub to drift there in the peace and tranquillity. To me submission is almost a form of meditation... the loss of ego and the peace of subspace are as close to nirvana as i expect to get.

It seems to me that the Dominant does all the hard work... being creative in conceiving the scene... placing the restraints, etc. It's so restful being a submissive... responding to stimuli in a way that tells the Dom/me of the state of the body while at the same time being as pleasing as possible in her reactions.

On the question of permission to cum... i have been trained to request it, however i think it is a mistake for a Dom/me to withhold orgasm from a fem-sub for any great length of time... over-excitement can cause her to be unable to cum at all... which would sadly result in her frustration rather than pleasure. It's different with a male sub, where the orgasm is enhanced by holding it off.