Right off of Pacific Coast Highway, just 20 minutes from your house, PAH features a beautiful beach view, and is just a short walk away from the boardwalk. We are conveniently situated close to a veritable buffet of bars, girlie clubs, and strips with many prostitutes to choose from so that your husband Bill can have the best of variety when he feel like slumming. Between the hookers and the guests, Bill has myriad options in the manner in which he chooses to cheat on you tonight. For our regular customers like Bill we offer convenient 24-hour check-in and overnight rates. We also have a PAH Gold Card Club that entitles members to extras like free access to our gym, sauna, pool, and gets members top quality room service, room upgrades, and dry cleaning. Needless to say, Bill uses these features every few days at the least. The sauna is a great place for lovers to retreat, as is the pool. The heated pool requires Bill to put only a minimal effort toward warming up this weekend's floozy before escorting her upstairs. We both know your husband will already be ready after only a couple minutes among the scantily clad ladies. |
Our gym is state-of-the-art. Bill likes to watch the ladies on the stairmaster. He's a big fan of tight asses and silicone. The gym is also a place for guests like Bill to meet those who share an interest in hopping in the sack after a 10 minute chat. Our rooms are furnished in a classic Early Victorian style that Bill's newfound girlfriends find especially appealing. The bed is always turned down for our guests, and room service will discreetly come in to keep the rooms tidy. Bill's room has a habit of being very rumpled by the morning. Our larger suites, designed for those travelling in groups or who will be entertaining, feature complementary snacks and wine. Bill makes use of this feature rather often, judging by the wine often left in the bed and tub. He seems to get rather messy with the dessert carts as well. He often stays for long weekends, too. He must have business trips very often, or at least that's what you think. If you would like to make reservations with Paso Alto Hotel, please call our front desk at 1-800-555-7399. They will be glad to help you at any time of the day or night. You have already made use of this feature, and are currently a guest in a room right around the corner from Bill's. We do hope that is convenient. |
Those guests of PAH who do not spend the night may be interested in our five-star restaurant or bar on the main floor. Bill finds the restaurant is a great place to wine and dine the catch of the day, and the bar is even better for after hours fishing and "seasoning." The restaurant features delicious specials prepared by our world-renowned chefs, or at least Bill's girls think so. There are high, comfortable booths scattered about the restaurant that seem very private, but from the right angle can be viewed from other booths. I see your reservation has you seated with a perfect line of sight to Bill. The bar is a hot place with a club atmosphere and live music most nights. Bill can stand out on the dance floor or at the bar, and you can fade back among the tables. You seem to have found the best view of Bill and his latest girlfriend from the booth near the emergency exit. He does dance awfully well; it is strange that he never takes you out like this. We here at Paso Alto Hotel would love to serve you again. We always manage to keep things together when the police show up at 3am after you barged in while your husband Bill was busy entertaining his latest mistress. We know that things can get messy in hotels, but it is our pleasure to provide the atmosphere where it is easy to get even and get on with your life quickly. |