She was the second Angel to be created, in that Realm whence she hailed...a Realm beyond Beware. Second only to Him... Lucifer - the Morning Star. The most beautiful of all. Never had until that day...had the Maker created such beauty. He was the first creation of beauty. She came next...the female counterpart... The rest of the Heavenly bodies came after... And for uncountable years...yet a time, that seems all too brief...there was peace.
But then...
...came His pride. And with it the Fall of Lucifer and His followers - the Fallen. Those Whom are now called such because of Him.
Lady PhoenixXxCat loved Him...loves Him still. She could not bear His expulsion, though it was because of His uprising to begin with. She is intricately connected to each of the Angel and Fallen alike, even now. In this humanesque body - with which she walks through the realm of Beware, however, her knowledge is limited to something her physical mind can handle.
But when she takes on her heavenly body...she recalls everything she cannot in this form. She feels each Angel and Fallen...where they are. She feels what they feel. She has this ability, in her heavenly form...because she was the second creation. The rest of those of her ilk...seldom feel this as she does.
However, the Maker has expressly forbidden her and the angels to touch Him...to leave Lucifer be until the end times.
Cat...could not leave Him be. She sought Him out. He welcomed her...took her in His arms. It was He Whom taught her the pleasures of the flesh, with His newfound body of earthly delights. From that day on, she was tainted.
But at her core, even despite this selfishness she displayed...not willing herself to be seperated from even Those that turned their backs on the Maker - was Love. She never allowed her Light to completely extinguish. And so when there were Fallen and Demons that came to turn their attentions and their attack on mankind...then she was called to battle, to continue to serve on the side of Light.
The Maker had forseen...This would her fate. Her only redemption. The blood on her hands of those she loves still...to protect His creation of man.
But when she gives into temptation...takes a Fallen as her lover...she expounds the pain in her soul. She is destined to fail in this way, it seems... It may not have been so, had she obeyed in the beginning. Had she not left the heavens to seek out The Fallen.
It is because of Love...and respect for the Maker's creation... For those even that came after the angels...for humbling herself, that she has not completely lost her way back Home. She continues to fight....she knows in her core this is right. To protect the humans against those of her kind whom hunt them.
And so she knows her punishment is just and true, though not without her deep regrets. She had brought it upon herself. For her disobedience. And perhaps...if Lucifer truly nevermore is to humble Himself before the Maker...then when He is cast into His Hell, she will follow Him. And as it is Hell...she would never be able to see Him. She may never know His touch again. But what would it matter? For even in Heaven she would suffer, if she could never see Him again either way...
According to the laws of nature governing the Realm whence she hails - Heaven is a place where humans can go in the end. The Angels who give the Maker complete obedience...feel no guilt. The warriors of their kind kill The Fallen who dare take a human life...or would dare try. They merely protect the humans...there is no guilt for the Angels to feel. Heaven is a place where neither they would know no pain or suffering.
But Cat...can never know complete happiness as long as Lucifer holds onto that pride. Even if Heaven opens it's gates to her in the end... Unlike humans...as an angel, she would not be washed of my memories of pain and remorse. And she cannot...if she knows Lucifer will not be among them. For if He were to return to the side of the Light...then surely the rest of The Fallen would, as well... And then, and only then, could her happiness be made complete.
...If not, then in the end...she will not return to Paradise. She will spend eternity in mourning. ~That~ will be her Hell.
